Supporting Pet Owners Through Grief: A Veterinarian’s Guide to Loss

Newly published in December 2023!

Written by Ryane E. Englar, DVM, DABVP (Canine and Feline Practice) and Jill B. Englar, MSW, LCSW-C, CAGCS, with Teresa Graham Brett, JD

5m Publishing

Order today in the U.S. through Amazon.

Order today in the U.K. through 5M Books.

Read the Q&A by the author here.

Description:

Loss is an unexpected yet expected part of life. We are not prepared for death, yet we experience loss, to varying degrees, every day. As time passes, we lose the present day to the past. Friends may come and go. We may trade our childhood residence for a home of our own. We may lose one job and gain another.

All these life events are losses, though some of these losses are more tangible than others. Some affect us more deeply than others, but all leave a memory, an impact, a mark in our minds and in our hearts.

Death is the most powerful of our losses because it is permanent. The permanence of loss is an indescribable hurt that stings and stings again. Some deaths sting more than others. No loss is insignificant, but some losses rock us to our core.

Even when we anticipate another’s death, we cannot always predict our response to it. The relationships we shared with the deceased were unique. So, too, are our responses to their deaths. No two individuals grieve the same way, for the same individual, for the same period of time. Our journey through grief is ours and ours alone.

We have great potential to make a difference for those around us in a day and age when listening, communication, and understanding are hard to come by. Such understanding is particularly important to those facing the loss of a loved one.

Our culture still tends to avoid mourning at all costs and sadly the bereaved are often hurried through their grief journey. More often than not, mourners find themselves in a state of grief that is at odds with their surrounding communities. They may find that, following a loss, the hectic and fast-paced world does not stop to meet them halfway.

Yet the mourners that we encounter as veterinarians – as those grieving the loss of a beloved pet – are often told to “move on” by society because it was “just” a dog or “just” a cat. Just. As if being just a dog or just a cat negates the human-animal bond as a powerful connector.

The reality is that pet loss is still loss. Grieving over a beloved pet is still grief.

As veterinarians, we cannot lessen the loss that follows the death of a client’s dog or cat. However, we can prepare our clients who face the anticipatory grief that is associated with decision-making surrounding euthanasia. We can also companion our clients through the fog of grief that follows death, whether the passing of a pet was sudden or expected.

Veterinarians play an important role in facilitating conversations about death and dying. Clients may look to veterinary team members to normalize and validate their experiences because pet owners often express disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief occurs when the bereaved feel unable to express their grief because it is not acknowledged. When grief is considered illegitimate by those who do not understand the value of the pet, the bereaved may feel disconnected from the world around them.

Veterinarians who understand the process of grief can provide reassurance that what clients are experiencing is normal and expected.

Historically, veterinarians have received very little training in bereavement.

This reference will provide practitioners and students alike with tools to better understand grief and its impact on the human-animal bond. Veterinary team members will also learn how to navigate their own mix of emotions as they themselves experience and process recurrent grief that can contribute to compassion fatigue and burnout.

Veterinary Communication Texts

A Guide to Oral Communication in Veterinary Medicine

Written by Ryane E. Englar, DVM, DABVP (Canine and Feline Practice)

5M Publishing

Purchase through Amazon.

Description:

Good communication skills provide better clinical outcomes and help avoid minor as well as major mistakes. Approximately 60-80% of negligence claims against vets are related to poor communication, with new graduates especially vulnerable. Communication skills are a growing part of the curriculum in veterinary schools, recognising how fundamental clear communication is to good practice. A Guide to Oral Communication in Veterinary Medicine covers why communication skills are important, the structure of typical communications and suggested approaches, veterinary specific communication pathways, and sample scripts between vet and client. Scenarios covered include everyday communication, dealing with challenging situations, different species, different settings, and communication within the veterinary team. The aim is to instill confidence and competence, build professionalism, and avoid problems. Most current teaching is based on a toolbox approach developed from the human medicine model. However, there is no set standard for teaching methodology, which is why this is primarily a book for students, but also includes a section for educators to provide guidance in this nascent subject.

Companion Animal Medicine Texts